This paradigm obtains regardless whether the abuse is sexual abuse, or abuse in the family, or abuse at the workplace, or where a public authority makes an adverse decision, which is wrong in law, causing harm.
- On abuse, the abused suffers harm
- Compounding the harm, the abused suffers shock and awe
- The abused experiences intrapersonal conflict, with need to trust the abuser
- The abused experiences intrapersonal conflict in respect to the power of the abuser
- The abused experiences intrapersonal conflict with the abuser’s implied and expressed threats to the abused, demanding silence, compliance and conspiracy
- The abused is not successful or availed of alternative authority to confide the abuse, with subsequent compounding intrapersonal conflict, compounding the harm
- The intrapersonal conflict interferes with the capacity of the abused to function, thus further compounding the harm
- The abused evidences strange behaviour such as withdrawal, or self-harm such as cutting, anorexia, bulimia, acting out, aggression to others, methods of intrapersonal relief in response to internalising rage that should properly be expressed towards the abuser
- When the torment is unbearable, the abused may be forced to take action against the abuser
- Where the abused is not able to do this, an observer may notice the “strange” behaviour of the abused, and in doing so, may be drawn to assist the abused
- The advocate encourages the abused to take steps to call out the abuser, but if the abused is not capable of doing so, will advocate for the abused.
- There will be repercussions by the abuser after attempts to call out the actions of the abuser – those repercussions can take many forms
- Those defensive actions of the abuser to defend the wrongdoing are in response to the fear of discovery and sanction
- The abused experiences relief in having a trusted authority to advocate on behalf of the abused.
- The abused experiences relief in stating the case to the advocate
- The abused experiences relief in the possibility for the abuser to be called to account
- If action is successful, the abused experiences relief in seeing the abuser being sanctioned
- The abused experiences the relief of validation of the events, and on the sanction being imposed on the abuser.
- The abused will experience the beginning of healing, renewal and recovery
- Paradoxically, the abused will experiences sadness and grief at having cast a light onto the abuse and the abuser, and seeing the truth of the events, affirming the integrity of the abused
- The abused will experience the publication of the events as a public affirmation of personal integrity
- The abused will experience relief and validation on the punishment, imprisonment, fines, or compensation, or order for exemplary damages, however defined, and payable by the abuser
- The abused will be free to live life with integrity and agency.